Shattered
by Teeny Tiny Twilight
Summary: Edward is always comforting Bella, but what happens when Edward needs Bella to comfot him. especially after Edward hurts her.
1. Anger

**Chapter 1: Anger**

Edward's P.O.V.

"You did _what!"_

Bella was angry, no Bella was murderous. Her beautiful brown eyes were crystal clear, and the flame of her anger acted like a light through a prism. I could see each colour and reason for her anger. All were perfectly reasonable, and anyone else—myself included—would be angry if it had been myself in her place.

"Bella, please listen to me—" Sympathy for her anger wasn't enough to stop the throbbing pain that accompanied her anger. She would always deserve better then me, and if I could not give her better, then I should at least be able to give her happiness.

"No! _You_ listen to me! What the _hell_ were you thinking?"

"Please Bella," I tried to sooth, my eyes anxiously watching the moisture building furiously in her eyes."If I had any idea this would happen I would never have sent him the invitation. I just thought that if I were in his shoes and him in mine, I would have wanted to know—to have had the choice."

"Edward," she whispered, the fury in her eyes was just slightly less terrifying then before. "Jacob is _sixteen_. He is a sixteen year old boy who doesn't understand self sacrifice! He hasn't been around for 107 years to understand what you do! _You don't understand._" She enunciated the last sentence, trying to make me see her side as I was trying to make mine clear.

My own anger sparked, "What do you mean 'I don't understand'? I can see inside his head Bella, I can see _every_ thought that passes through his mind! I do understand." I was yelling now, and Bella had tears or fury streaming down her face.

"Jacob is _gone_. He's gone Edward! He ran away, we don't even know if he'll come back. So obviously you don't understand because if you did Jacob would still be here. Charlie kicked me out because of this."

Charlie kicked her out? I struggled with my guilt at this new information and in my battle to think through a hundred things at once to fix all the things I had broken, an empty frustration boiled through my lips directed unfairly at the only innocent one here.

"You know what Bella? Your right, he's a 16 year old boy, so why would you delude him into thinking he had a future with you?" I hissed at her.

The moment the words left my mouth, I regretted them.

'_Edward, what the hell are you doing?'_ Emmett's thoughts bombarded me.

'_How could you say that to her?' _Alice screamed in her head, the words bouncing around in mine.

The wet angry tears that had been evaporating into the air from the heat on her cheeks turned into a single choked sob. I watched the muscled tensing in her jaw as she clenched her teeth against the sound. She turned and left.

I scrambled frantically to pick up the words now that they had shattered the air between us. Between Bella and I was supposed to be a place where no one judged or ridiculed or intentionally hurt the other. I had violated all of those with just one improperly thought out sentence.

"Bella? I'm sorry, that wasn't fair. I had no right to say what I did." She wasn't stopping, she continued out my door and started to disappear into the hall. I followed her, still pleading. "Please Bella, where are you going?"

"I don't know, I'll get a hotel room, or sleep in my truck or something." She didn't even look back at me as she continued, and her threat was not empty. She would leave; she would sleep in her truck until she was ready to come back if that was the only place she had to go while she figured everything out.

"Bella, this is ridiculous! Come back, you can stay with us." She was half way down the stairs, shaking her head.

"Bella, please! I really didn't mean it. You can stay in my bedroom. You don't have to talk to me, or even _look_ at me unless you want to. I'll go hunting and you can speak to anyone with out my intrusions."

She was only ten 20 feet away from the door. Once she left she was gone until she decided to come back or I dragged her back. She couldn't live like that. _I_ couldn't live like that.

The pain mixed with the guilt, and the left over anger was blurring my thoughts. I would stop her by force if I needed to.

I grabbed her wrist, frustrated with her stubbornness, angry for my mistake—for not listening to her—absolutely enraged that nothing when right with us, just when things would start to look up, to be normal and _good_ something always had to turn and shake us so we were scrambling to regain our small fragile balance.

"Dammit Bella, come—"there was a sickening snap.

She instantly stopped struggling against my hold.

In the time it took my quick mind to decipher the sound—matching it to what I had heard hundreds and thousands of times at my hands—and match it to the petite brunette in front of my who was still in shock and confused as to what had changed so quickly, I dropped my hand from her fair, delicate skin.

In the next moment, the pain finally registered. She crumpled to the floor, cradling her arm in her lap. Tears of too many kinds of pain trickled down her cheeks, infusing in the air.

It was completely silent except for her heart beat, her broken breathing, and the sound of her silent tears falling to the soft white carpet.

Alice was suddenly bending over her mangled arm.

"Carlisle!" she screamed, panicking.

Emmett, Carlisle, and Esme were running into the room. I stood completely motionless, not having moved, spoke, or even breath since I let go of her.

The thoughts in my head weren't making any sense; everyone's mixing together in a panicked frenzy.

'_Bella. Edward. Arm. Happened._ Shattered_.'_

"Edward!" I finally found my self, Emmett was shaking me, "I said, what happed?"

"I- I grabbed her arm…" I whispered.

"Edward, maybe you should go out side and calm down a bit." Carlisle said gently, his face held none of the panic though I could hear it in the tenor of this thoughts. Bella wasn't just another human patient, she was almost like another daughter to him.

Esme had carried Bella to the guest room, she murmured quiet soothing things to Bella as she continued to watch the mayhem around her in slow, but clearing eyes. Alice was running around gathering the necessary supplies to help Bella. I caught one of the thoughts that she threw my way.

_She'll be okay Edward, just calm down outside. I'll get you when her arm had been braced._

Bella… _my_ Bella I _hurt_ her.

The night in my room with Bella flashed across my mind

'_Bella I could kill you'_

'_I don't think you could'_

The truth of what I did was coming onto me in a sick strange slow way that saturated every dead cell of my body until it felt like I was rotting. The horrifying reality of it all was killing me where the Spanish flu, vampires, and werewolves couldn't do the job.

'_Obviously not that your not physically able to hurt me, if you wanted to…More that, you don't want to hurt me…so much so that I don't think that you ever could.'_

What have I done to her? What if Carlisle couldn't fix her arm? What if she could never use her arm again?

I left.

I ran into the forest, pushing my self. Wanting to feel exertion, wanting to feel my muscles ache, wanted to feel my lungs burn. But none of those things ever came. I finally just collapsed, folding in on my self, sobbing tearless sobs, and screaming to a God who had already dammed me.

**---------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------ --------------------------------**

When I finally came back I headed straight for my room, not being able to face Bella, or any of my family. Alice hadn't fetched me yet, and I took that to mean Bella didn't _want_ to see me.

I closed the door, leaning on it. I closed my eyes and hoped that the horrible pain that had woven itself into the very fibber of my being would cease, yet knowing if I was given the chance would decline the offer. I hoped that this agony was painlessly taken from Bella and placed onto me. I hoped to the highest beings that Bella didn't hurt.

I deserved this ache. This anguish and so much more. What I didn't deserve was Bella. Is that what fate was trying to tell me? That I shouldn't have the radiant brown eyed angel? That she was perfection that I was never meant to taint?

I sighed, opening my eyes and stepped away from the door. I changed out of my old clothes that were covered in dirt, pulling on some clean jeans and a cream shirt.

I didn't own any dark clothing. One of Carlisle's rules. They made our skin look even paler then what it already was. The only dark clothing I owned was a couple of tuxes. I ran my hand over the tux that I had worn when taking Bella to prom last year.

Her leg had been broken then. And that too was my fault. But this seemed so much worse. Maybe because _I_ had hurt her, with the same two hands that caressed her blushing skin, that touched her hair, and traced her smile. The same two hands that held her when I kissed her perfectly, warm and _fragile_ lips. The same two hands that tucked her in at night.

I turned heading for the bed that I had watched Bella sleep in.

And then the moon light glinted off something that caught my attention. It wasn't dark in my room, not to my eyes. I looked quickly to see what it was. The sight knocked the air out of my chest. It intensified the pain that had surely laced itself with my DNA by now, and made me fall to my knees.

There, on the centre of the golden comforter held my mother's ring—_Bella's_ ring.

Of course I had been expecting this, I deserved no less, but to actually _see_ it there hurt almost as much as all the times I had seen Jacob touch her in ways I never could.

Though _that_ pain was absolutely unbearable, at least then there had still been the knowledge, a small sliver of hope that she still loved me. That wasn't absolute anymore. Maybe this had been the last straw to break the camels back. Everything my world had put her through was too much for any human, but this, this attack from a place where she should be safe was too much for even Bella.

Slowly I went over to the ring, and put it back in its box. Hiding it from view, I couldn't stand to see it any longer. Not unless it was on her finger.


	2. Bella's POV

Bella's P.O.V.

Carlisle had put a cast on my hand. Apparently it was broken in four different places. It had swelled so much that my bracelet and my ring had to come off. Alice had taken the bracelet, and was going to taken the ring as well but I asked her to give it to Edward for safe keeping. I wanted him to know I didn't blame him for what happened.

And it was true; I didn't blame him for what happened. Because in all truthfulness he was right. And when my anger had cooled I realised just how horrible I really was.

When Jacob had done nothing but offer me a shoulder to lean on, and a friendship—a future where he would take my hand when I had been so broken he might as well have never tried, to help me even though I was ruined.

Then when he found out he was a werewolf that a normal future with a woman was taken from him, when he was confused and scared, and needed _me_. All I had done was offer him a place to cry, a place to feel whole and loved again, and then when he want to take it, I pulled that haven away, let him fall on his own. And I did it to him over and over again.

Then there was Jacobs's wolf pack. I had put them all in danger, over and over again, the pack had risked their lives more then _three times_ for me and I abandoned them, not so much as a thank you, then went running back to their enemies, to the people who had started their suffering and confusion, who had taken their chances of a normal life away.

The Cullen's had risked their lives, traveled across the country, and even all the way to _Italy_ to help me fix _my_ mistake, to save _my_ life. And what do I do? I causes more trouble. I practically start arranging for a _war_ to take place between the wolves and the vampires. I travel between the boarders, pushes them to break the treaty that had kept the peace, and invites their enemies into their own _home._

Then Charlie who had given me a roof to live under and given me money to feed them both, and what do I do? I causes vampires that drink _human_ blood to come after me. I put him in the way of danger time and time again. Then I loose me temper with him, hurt him, and worry him to the point of nearly giving him a heart attack. I must have taken a good 10 years off his original life span. And after all that, I was planning to leave him, to not be there when he was old and weak, when he would need someone to care for _him_. No, I was leaving that to someone else by running off to be an immortal.

Then finally, there was Edward. He loved me unconditionally, he protected me, and he offered me happiness, a future, a family. And all I did is put him in danger, make him nearly commit suicide, and force him to endanger his family, time and time again. I had everything anyone could ever want and more, but all I did was chase after what I couldn't have, cause him pain, worry, and absolute terror. He was absolutely perfect, yet I scream at him for something that was _my own_ fault. I hadn't even been angry with him at the time! I had just worried about Jacob, confused about where to go, and hurt that my father had rejected me.

"Bella? Hey, I think maybe you should go see Edward." Alice suggested gently.

"I don't think he wants to see me right now." I whispered hanging my head in shame.

"Bella, what are you talking about?" I looked up startled. Alice aggravated with me.

"But I messed every thing up."

"Bella, you didn't do anything… and neither did Edward! It was all an accident."

"But I _caused_ the accident! I wasn't even angry at him! I was just angry, and confused, and scared…" I trailed off as the tears started to roll down my face.

"Bella, Edward _needs_ you. He's curled up on his bed _hating_ him self. So much so that Jasper had to leave the house. He thinks that the reason your ring was in his room when he got back was because you decided you didn't want to marry him any more—that you didn't want him! Now I suggest that you get your butt in there and work together to fix things, instead of trying to fix things on your own. It never works out you have experienced _that_ first hand. " I winced at the reminder of the time Edward left me in an attempt to save me, then nodded slowly.  
I got up and walked to Edwards's room, and stopped right before his door.

"Edward?"

There was no answer. I opened to door to see Edward curled up on the bed in a fatal position. The room was dark, the only light was from the hall way the spilled in through the open door.

He straightened into a half laying down position at the sound of my clumsy entrance. The weight of the cast was knocking me more off balance then I was used to, that and the painkillers Carlisle had given me were making me stagger drunkenly.

"Bella?"

I closed the door behind me for the sake of what little privacy it may give us, not thinking about the dark that would follow when the light from the hallway was blocked out. I stumbled towards the bed until I felt the soft blanket.

Sighing in relief that I hadn't tripped and accidentally ripped his whole room apart I sat on the bed.

It was silent. I took a deep breath, trying to gather my courage, the crawled over to where I thought he lay. Careful not to put any pressure on my left hand I felt for him. When my hand encountered his cold shoulder I crawled over and laid down beside him.

"I'm so sorry Edward. I didn't mean for this to happen."

Edwards cool arm wrapped around me gently, pressing his body against mine, and laying his head in the crook of my neck. "There is _nothing_ for you to apologize for. I just…why are you here?"

My muscles locked down in shock, and then hurt. Edward felt the tension and quickly continued. "No, no Bella. When I found your ring on the bed, I thought you were leaving."

I threw a look in his general direction, not sure exactly where his voice was in the dark. "Because I would leave you for this," I held up my arm, "After everything else we've been through? That doesn't even make sense Edward."

"Yes it does." Edward's whisper made my heart ache for him. Sometimes I forgot how hard it was for Edward. He was always worrying about everything. I couldn't imagine what the proof of one of his most real fears being proven would do to him. "I wouldn't stop you Bella. I love you, and I don't _want_ you to go, but I would understand."

I moved closer to him, and the movement causes the tips of his fingers to brush against the cast. He jerked away like he had been burned. I closed my eyes, trying to think of something to say that would make him see how little it all mattered.

"Edward, I love you more then anything. More then everything and everyone and I _know_ you know that none of this matters to me." That didn't seem to help anything. So I tried again. "There are people in other relationships that _fight_ Edward. Really fight and purposely hurt each other. Everyone has their difficulties, and this just happens to be ours. And honestly, if I had to chose between a normal human relationship where there was nothing exciting, no fear, I don't think it would be much fun." I grinned in his direction.

"You're insane." He muttered finally, but I thought I heard a small smile in his voice.

I smiled wider. "Only for you."

Edward was silent as he considered that. "So why did you give your ring back to me then?"

My grin faltered, "Didn't you see that in Alice's head?"

I felt Edward's finger gently touch my other arm. "No, she's stubbornly decided that _you_ have to tell me." I hesitated and Edward's voice came again, more panicked this time. "If it's that bad, then you don't have to tell me. We could start over if you're not sure about marrying me. We could date again until you're ready to…become more serious."

The thought of my change being put off, of having to start all over in my fight to get Edward to change me made me dizzy. "It's not that, not like that at all, I still want to…_marry_ you." It was still hard to get the word out, even now.

"Then why?" Edward's voice was just a quiet melody in the dark. Unintentionally beautiful.

"Because my hand was swelling too much to keep it on, I gave it back to you for safe keeping until my hand returned to its normal size." I murmured quietly.

"Bella, what _exactly _did I do you your arm." he asked after a long silence. I shrugged, not wanting to let him know how bad it was.

"Bella, _tell me._" His voice was panicked again. I didn't want to make him feel worse, but lying was not only out of the question because I couldn't lie, but also because it wouldn't help anything. He would find out eventually.

I took a deep breath, my heart sputtering."It's broken in four places." I mumbled quickly and quietly.

It was completely silent, even his breathing had stopped… mine had stopped too. I took a deep breath of air when the darkness shivered.

I turned around in his arms so I could face him. He buried his head in my neck, inhaling deeply like a man coming up for air. He held me tightly to him, being very careful not to hurt me again. So I was going to be Bella the china doll for the next few weeks until Edward regained his confidence.

"Oh Bella. My sweet Bella, I am so sorry."

I held him tightly in ways he was still too scared to do. I shared my heat and my heart beat while we shared, each of us, a piece of a soul. I knew where I was safe, no matter how much Edward believed differently, and this was only a miner set back.

His body was still and I refused to let my eyes close. I stayed up to be with him when _he_ needed _me_ for once.

When the Sun finally rose he asked to see my arm, I had hidden it safely under the covers and out of his sight until now so his fingers wouldn't come across it again.

I sighed quietly, knowing trying to refuse was pointless. He examined my arm, touching the bulking cast.

This made him absolutely still again, and I saw as I held him, that Edward's face had been twisted, this was how a vampire cried. My heart broke for him, and I let a few tears escape for his pain.

Sometime in the after noon I was losing the battle with my heavy lids and fell asleep in his arms, knowing that when I woke up he would be there. And he always would be, even when we fell on hard times or made a mistake, he would be there for me, as I would always be there for him.


End file.
